You Might Need A Hearing Aid If...

                                                    

                                      

Hearing aids are just one more grudging concession to growing older.  It was a battle I could no longer fight, much less win.  My wife Kayla has needlessly put up with my poor hearing for years.  So, I now wear hearing aids.  Thus, for the sake of all you older men who might not hear as well as you used to and for the sake of your tortured wives even more so, I feel it is my duty to suggest “you might need a hearing aid if” certain things are happening.

You might need a hearing aid if you think your wife just mumbles all the time.  You may ask what happened to her? Why doesn’t she speak clearly anymore?  Did she have a stroke while I wasn’t watching?  Is she just mumbling to irritate me?  News flash:  She is not the problem.

You might need a hearing aid if you think kids these days don’t know how to talk.  Whatever happened to proper enunciation?  Too much texting and social media is ruining verbal communication.  No one can understand these kids, not even their parents.  Uh, sorry Boomer, the kids are not the problem.

You might need a hearing aid if restaurants and other public places have just gotten too noisy.  It’s impossible to carry on a decent conversation with the music and background noise.  They must not want customers to stay around too long unless they are spending money.  No wonder all these places are going out business.   The fact is these places are doing just fine.  That’s why so many people are there talking, eating and drinking.  

You might need a hearing aid if your neighbor starts commenting about the television show they heard you watching last night.  Or they ask if your wife is OK because they heard you loudly asking her why she mumbles all the time.

You might need a hearing aid if your pets start running from you because you’re talking so loud they think you’re mad at them.

You might need a hearing aid if you are driving and discover that your turn signal has been on for the last five miles. 

You might need a hearing aid if a nurse ask you when is the last time you had anything to eat or drink and you answer by telling them your date of birth.

And you might need a hearing aid if you call a customer service help line and simply cannot understand what the person is saying.  Ok, bad example. Maybe you don’t need a hearing aid if that’s the only problem you’re having.

                  “Whoever has ears, let them hear” Matthew 11:15