From Beginning To End

 

I woke up and saw a face.

I looked down and saw two hands.

The face belonged to a giant.

The hands I saw were mine.

I knew nothing of my life

As I looked into that face,

I screamed and cried for someone to save me from that place.

 

I woke up and saw a woman.

I looked down and saw a tray.

The woman seemed to love me.

The tray was full of food.

I look and blinked at the woman

And ate most of what was there.

Then I cried again and shit myself, she didn’t seem to care.

 

I woke up and saw a wall

I looked down and saw my desk

The wall contained much writing

The desk just held myself

I looked out the window

And then back at the wall.

I learned quite a lot there, but knew nothing much at all.

 

I woke up and heard people.

I looked down and saw water.

It was clear and up to my waist.

The people said amen, amen.

Buried sins and raised to life

But what life would I choose.

Was I really saved forever or was it something I could lose?

 

I woke up and I was running

I looked around at boys like me

Running was all we had

And we were mostly happy with it.

But when the running stopped

We drank and then threw up.

We left the bread behind us and just consumed the cup.

 

I woke up and saw a girl.

I reached out and touched her face.

The girl belonged to herself,

Her face belonged to me.

And then I kissed her picture

Before I turned away.

Love is never certain, no matter what they say.

 

I woke up in small dark places.

I flew between each one.

Each place was like the others.

My best years left behind.

Traveling with a memory,

And never going home.

It’s time that passes quickly, before you know it’s gone.

 

I woke up in a chair.

I was rocking back and forth.

A dog lay there beside me,

The sun just going down.

A ghost called me for supper.

A shadow led me there.

The dog and I together, such a lonely pair.

 

I woke up and saw a face.

I looked down and saw my hands.

The face belonged to an angel,

Her hand held one of mine.

I heard machines, no voices.

And then I closed my eyes.

But I remember praying and crying as I died.

Notes and Quotes...May The Chaos Continue

 

“Honesty is not treated with empty hands.” Somali proverb

And so it goes thus far in 2026.

_At the top of list, the on-going battle between the I.C.E. Enforcers vs the I.C.E. Watchers.  With plenty of blame to go around, this was never going to end well.  The Watchers need to quit throwing bricks, cease spitting on LEO’s and stay out of the way.  The Enforcers need stop shooting annoying protestors and focus on the illegals who are engaged in serious criminal activity.  Baby steps.

_The Venezuelan “Extraction” was long over-due.  Kudos to the special forces who pulled that one off.

_May I suggest that the NFL owners simply agree that only those four head coaches whose teams get to Conference Championships be allowed to keep their jobs. 

_We can all sleep better now…Greenland has agreed to stop flirting with Russia and China, and allow us to do what we’ve been doing on their behalf for decades as long as we lower the tariffs on Danish clogs.

_Extreme cold weather (yawn) is, of course, being attributed to climate change (yawn).

_Hats off to the Iranian people who have risen up against the Ayatollah. Unfortunately, neither America nor anyone else is coming to save them.  Who would dare stir up the Shiite hornet’s nests which are buzzing throughout the Middle East and around the world?  

“If a battle cannot be won, do not fight it”. -Sun Tzu

_And one last thing…The Winter Olympics (yawn) are about to begin (yawn).  

Snark Hunting

 

In recent times, the word “Snarky” has become a very overused adjective.  Some folks have stopped using the word, opting to just verbally attack those whose sarcastic remarks they find to be offensive. But it’s still a pretty good word to describe much of the tit-for-tat social media commentary one observes.

Interestingly, once upon a time the word “snark” was used in a different context, and with a meaning that remains open to debate.  That mad genius 19^th century author of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll, used the word in one of his less well-known works, “The Hunting of The Snark”.  “The Hunting of The Snark”, published in 1876, is a rather long narrative poem describing the voyage of an odd crew of characters who seek the elusive Snark.

The Snark is indeed a strange creature. It tastes “meager and hollow, but crisp”.  It sleeps late, sometimes eating breakfast at 5 pm.  The Snark is slow to “take a jest” and always looks “grave at a pun”.  The creature enjoys a good bath and is full of “ambition”.  Some have feathers and bite, others have whiskers and scratch.  But beware, some Snarks are Boojums. And if the Snark turns out to be a Boojum, the hunter who finds it will vanish, ceasing to exist

The crew may also encounter a Jubjub. The Jubjub is a desperate bird that lives in “perpetual passion”.  Its taste in costume is absurd, but only because it is ages ahead in fashion. It knows any friend even if met only once.  The Jubjub cannot be bribed and will always assist in charitable endeavors, but never actually makes a donation.  And the Jubjub is great to eat, tasting better than “mutton, oysters or eggs.”

It’s a long poem, but worth reading and full of symbolism if one is inclined to think so. What was Lewis Carroll thinking about when he wrote it? Considering Alice in Wonderland and poems like this one, there has always been speculation that he was on drugs. But there is no evidence to support that claim.  He was known to have a glass of sherry on occasion and perhaps like many in this time may have consumed laudanum now and then. Perhaps he was in fact loaded when he was writing. I tend to think not.

In my opinion he was using outrageous characters and wonderful alliteration both satirically and seriously to entertain as well as to make his readers think about life in the British Empire at that time. The age of discovery was coming to an end.  Most of the planet was known and mapped, albeit with some errors and omissions. British aristocrats, wealthy merchants, brave missionaries and hardy adventurers fortunate enough to have sponsors were intent on exploration and fame. Intellectuals were challenging The Church and The Crown with new ideas. The Industrial Revolution was in full swing uplifting some while exploiting others.

Addressing the risks, as well as the opportunities, that came with all of this may well be the point of Carroll’s writing.  And it’s not a far reach to find application in our world today.  There seems to be a good bit of Snark hunting going on and millions of Jubjubs standing behind the ropes waiting to be devoured.  And those on the hunt for a Snark best pray they don’t end up with a Boojum.

“They hunted till darkness came on, but they found

Not a button, or feather, or mark,

By which they could tell that they stood on the ground

Where the Baker had met with the Snark.

In the midst of the word he was trying to say,

In the midst of his laughter and glee,

He had softly and suddenly vanished away…

For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.”

-Lewis Carroll, from “The Hunting of the Snark”

Wrong Place, Right Time

 

Recently I had something happen that left me asking questions for which there are no answers this side of heaven. 

I was driving into Dallas for a routine follow-up appointment with a doctor; nothing life threatening other than driving in Dallas traffic.  I’m in the inside lane southbound on 75 in McKinney and going about 80 MPH which is the minimum for inside lane travel on 75.  A Prius (yes a Prius) blows by me on the right side going at least 100, dodging in and out of traffic.  They cut in front of a car ahead of me, almost clipping the front bumper. 

A few minutes later the crazy Prius is back in the middle lane and decides to jump back to the inside lane this time causing the car in front of me to slam on their brakes and swerve.  At this point they lost control and the car went all over the place almost flipping over completely.  Somehow the driver regained control and ended up at a dead stop sideways across the inside lane.  This all happened in a matter of seconds.

I came to a stop less than 10 feet from the driver’s passenger door.  A young woman was watching the big black Ram pickup to see if it was going to plow into her vehicle.  When I stopped she looked down, still clutching the steering wheel.  The cars behind me had stopped…those in the lanes to the right were still slowly rolling by.  I was about to get out and check on her when I saw she gathered herself and started looking to see what she needed to do to get turned back around.  Fortunately, a car in the lane next to us stopped traffic allowing her to back up and get going.  Then the wave of cars seemed to part. She was able to cross all the way over and safely exit.   

 So why do I say I was in the wrong place?  It turned out that I had screwed up on the time for my appointment.  I was an hour early.  Otherwise, I would not have been behind this young woman.  She might have had someone else like me behind her who maintains a safe distance and isn’t texting or eating breakfast as they speed down the highway.   But more than likely, she would have had someone following too close and not paying attention until it was too late.  I was pumping my brakes to get the attention of those behind me and doing everything I could to stop before running into her; or perhaps worse yet swerving into the lane to my right and setting off an even larger chain reaction accident.

Someone else could have been there.  But I was.  And this time it worked out.  I am no hero, just an old man driving too fast but paying attention.  I said a special prayer that night for the young woman who was, in fact, a hero; and one helluva of a driver.  I am further convinced that someone else was with her that day….and I suppose with me as well.  

Metanoia

 

It’s that time of year when resolutions are made.  When we make commitments to do better and be better.  Workout, eat healthy, lose weight, get more sleep, reduce time spent scrolling on the smart phone, read books, listen more, talk less, go to church, study the bible, pray, mend fences, save money, stop cursing, give up alcohol, learn a new language, clean up the garage, say you’re sorry and mean it. 

Pick one or more of these and just do it, right? This year it’s going to be different, you’re serious. But in a matter of weeks, or in a couple of months if you were really serious, old habits and patterns of behavior creep back into your life. Resolutions are revised, goalposts get moved and motivation fades.

Often Christians treat repentance like resolutions.  We feel guilty about something bad we’ve been doing or something good left undone.   As with resolutions, repentance tends to be pretty much hit or miss, mostly miss.  But ultimately our sins will find us out and betray us. We might claim to “hate” sin, but mostly we hate other peoples’ sins. We may even claim to “hate” some of our own sins.  But until we see them clearly and completely, we will keep going back for more.  Even after our sins have harmed us or the people we love, we make excuses and drift back into them.

The Greek word “metanoia” is found throughout the New Testament. It translates as repent or repentance and literally means “a change of mind”.  Christians tend to find themselves in a vicious cycle of changing their minds: turning away from sin and then returning to it. Even the great Apostle Paul found himself struggling: “I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” Romans 7: 18b-19

He then goes on to say, “But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is the sin living in me that does it.” Romans 7: 20

While it may sound like Paul is letting himself off the hook, he’s actually making the point that as long as we are in these earthly bodies we will forever struggle with sin. He goes on to say, “Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So, you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.” Romans 7: 25.

What Paul is not saying is to just give up and give in to your sinful nature. It is a war that we’ll be fighting as long as we live. But we can win a few more battles if we are honest about our sins and, more importantly, the consequences of those sins. By the grace of God, we have eternal salvation but make no mistake our sins are still doing damage in the here and now and will be judged in the hereafter.  So perhaps it’s never too late to try a bit of “metanoia.”…and mean it this time.

It's Another Brown Christmas in Texas

(TO THE TUNE OF WHITE CHRISTMAS...I CAN HEAR BING CROSBY NOW)

 

I’m dreading a Brown Christmas

Just like the ones all Texans know.

Where the wind is blowin’

But it ain’t snowin’…

Just one big turd wrapped in a bow.

 

I’m dreading a Brown Christmas

With every gift card that I send.

I will go where snow can be found,

For this Christmas here in Texas will be Brown.

Worth Reading Again

 

“To believe in personal responsibility would be to destroy the whole special role of the anointed, whose vision cast them in the role of rescuers of people treated unfairly by “society”. – Thomas Sowell, The Vision of the Anointed” - 1995

“Today it is the elites…those who control the international flow of money and information, preside over philanthropic foundations and institutions of higher learning, manage the instruments of cultural production and thus set the terms of public debate—that have lost faith in the values, or what remains of them, of the West.”- Christopher Lasch, “Revolt of the Elites and the Betrayal of Democracy” - 1995

Thomas Sowell’s “The Vision of the Anointed” and Christopher Lasch’s “The Revolt of the Elites and the Betrayal of Democracy” were both published in 1995.  If you have never read them, you should.  If you have read them, you should read them again.  What they wrote in 1995 was true then and even more so now.

Lasch describes the Elites (whom Sowell calls the “Anointed”) as “rootless” world citizens with no sense of responsibility or commitment to their communities. He suggested that globalization had resulted in an “elite class” having little or no engagement with local communities, focused more on personal gain and power. He argues that the Elites had abandoned moral values; relying more on a “self-esteem” rooted in higher education and wealth.  

In “The Vision of the Anointed”, Thomas Sowell describes the Anointed as the intellectuals, politicians and activists who believe they know what’s best for society, but whose policies tend to ignore real-world evidence and result in negative outcomes.  He provides specific examples of policies promoted by the “Anointed” which have made things worse for families, lowered the quality of education and increased criminal activity.

In different ways, both Lasch and Sowell warned us in 1995 that Western Civilization in general and America in particular were headed in the wrong direction. Now some thirty years on, their warnings ignored, we have continued the steady march downhill.  Christopher Lasch is long passed on, sadly dying before the “Revolt” was published.  Thomas Sowell, now in his late 90’s, remains sharp of mind and wit but no doubt has grown tired of saying I told you so.